A Mum's self-love

We all want to be healed at some point of time in life. However, we are not ready to recognise and accept the flaws we have. To heal yourself, you need to start loving yourself and accept the way you are. Self-love is a very important yet highly misunderstood concept among people across ages, almost everywhere. Some consider this to be evil, selfish, or even narcissistic. In many countries, serving others first and placing oneself at the end of the priority list considers being the symbol of being a good and dutiful human being.

I am a mum of two lovely boys and I will share some of my own experiences. Readers may differ in my views which is absolutely fine. I am sharing my experience to help everyone especially those who may have less understanding of self-love.

Long ago, I attended a wellbeing class for mums - the speaker asked all the mothers whom they love the most. Almost all the mothers replied uniformly, their children. That sounds so normal. In fact, that's normal. That was the day; the speaker told us why it's important to put ourselves first before loving anyone else. It's not selfish!

In the journey of motherhood, most mothers become so overwhelmed and occupied with the wellbeing of the little ones that they totally forget to take care of themselves. Their sleep pattern gets disturbed, their food habits change, their hobbies and interests take a backseat. Many of them don't even take five minutes to sit and relax. It is so common. It happened to me too. However, one day I found myself really frustrated. I was thinking where is the 'me time'! I am exhausted taking care of my children, home, everything but me.

People told me that it's normal to have absolutely no 'me time' for a mother as her duty is to devote all her time, energy and everything into the children. So what energy is a frustrated mother to transfer to her children? This made me think quite deeply. Why only mothers, what energy anyone gives to others if he or she is completely drained?

It's very important to keep yourself happy, hale and hearty. How can you pour from an empty cup? Can one irritated, dissatisfied, frustrated mum pour pure love to the child? Sometimes or the other, taking care of the child may seem like a burden - either consciously or in your subconscious mind. It is bound to happen. There is no question of the unconditional love of a mother towards her child but not without taking care of her own self first. It may come across as very surprising or shocking to many but kids are pure and very quick to pick up energies from their surroundings. So your disturbed energies cannot be hidden from them. And if you observe, you will see a reflection of your not so happy self in them. Do you wish to see them picking up your broken pieces? I am sure, no parent would want that.

Self-love doesn't always mean only focusing on yourself forgetting or ignoring the world around you. It doesn't mean hitting the gym regularly or having some particular diet. It means being you, allowing yourself to breathe, allowing yourself to love and accept yourself the way you are. Most importantly, allowing yourself to listen to your heart. It means giving yourself the priority you deserve. Once you start doing it, everything else will fall in place.

A Mum's self-love